Things are looking up. I got the confirmation call from Costco. I am officially an employee and I have my orientation this next weak. Yay....its a start! Its something different. Its not my what I am interested in as far as a career but it will be something to pay my bills for a while. I found that cashiering at Barnes and Noble isn't exactly interesting.
After two weeks I'm board but it is such a positive thing to have a job and I look forward to getting my own place once again. I can't wait.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Friday at work at Barnes and Noble
On Friday the 7th at Barnes and Noble I was cashiering when an elderly man walked up and said you must be really cold today. I replied no, I wear this every day no matter how hot or cold it is. He huffed and puffed. Snatched his money and walked off. He didn't reply back when I told him to have a nice day.
In saying that, when he said that to me I really wasn't paying attention to what he really meant by it. When I replied to him it was truly just reply to what I thought was an honest harmless comment by him. It wasn't until he huffed and puffed and snatched his money that I became suspicious of his intent and had the feeling he was being mean with a nasty attitude. It was nice outside, it was a warm day.
I relayed the incident to my two co-workers and they said he was being mean. I don't know, I didn't see his face when he said it and I really didn't make eye contact with him at all. He only bought a juice so the transaction was less than 45 seconds.
My heart says to not make anything more of it and not read into it if I am not sure. I don't like to think the worst of people even when my gut is confused.
In saying that, when he said that to me I really wasn't paying attention to what he really meant by it. When I replied to him it was truly just reply to what I thought was an honest harmless comment by him. It wasn't until he huffed and puffed and snatched his money that I became suspicious of his intent and had the feeling he was being mean with a nasty attitude. It was nice outside, it was a warm day.
I relayed the incident to my two co-workers and they said he was being mean. I don't know, I didn't see his face when he said it and I really didn't make eye contact with him at all. He only bought a juice so the transaction was less than 45 seconds.
My heart says to not make anything more of it and not read into it if I am not sure. I don't like to think the worst of people even when my gut is confused.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Job
A while ago I struggled with whether to wear a hijab to job interviews but in the end I decided to wear my hijab and keep true to myself. Yesterday, I was given a conditional job offer pending a drug test, (I passed that) and a criminal history check. Insha' Allah they call me and confirm my orientation by the end of this week..
It is a bit far but Masha'allah I have good friends that will allow me to stay with them. I truly hope to move down that way very soon.
I have found throughout my journey (which is still very new to me) that most people are accepting and supportive. When I announced my hesitation to wear my hijab to a job interview it was my non-Muslim friends that encouraged me to wear my hijab and said it doesn't or shouldn't matter and to stay true to myself and my religion. Masha'Allah people are wonderful.
It is a bit far but Masha'allah I have good friends that will allow me to stay with them. I truly hope to move down that way very soon.
I have found throughout my journey (which is still very new to me) that most people are accepting and supportive. When I announced my hesitation to wear my hijab to a job interview it was my non-Muslim friends that encouraged me to wear my hijab and said it doesn't or shouldn't matter and to stay true to myself and my religion. Masha'Allah people are wonderful.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
American Muslimah, what does that mean to me? At 44 years of age and having just converted I find that I am deep into my American culture. I know that in Islam women reach paradise easier with a husband but I am not married. Islam also says Muslim women must marry a Muslim man. I am not in love with a Muslim man. At 44 I will not be having any more children and I have discovered I do not need a man for anything. I am self-sufficeint and fiercely independant and that will not change. If I was in love with a Christian man before I decided to convert that would not change either. I was once Christian and married to a Muslim man so I know it can work out. (we did not split due to religious differences)
These things pass through my mind often. As I want to be a good Muslim woman but my independance and my own personal belief systems. As a woman that is a survivor of domestic violence.
These things pass through my mind often. As I want to be a good Muslim woman but my independance and my own personal belief systems. As a woman that is a survivor of domestic violence.
Today’s Muslim Experience:
In light of all the scary hate crimes happening to people of different races, religions and sexual orientations, with all the bullying that happens causing so many to take their own lives making this world such an ugly place to live there comes a light from someone that brightens ones day.
I usually get questions from people such as, “do you wear that scarf because your husband makes you?” “Do you wear that because of your religion?” “Are you Muslim?” or “Oh, I love your scarf that is beautiful.”
...
When I see another Muslim we greet each other with As’Salamu ‘Alaikum or Salam. When I am in public I usually initiate the greeting with non-muslims wearing a huge smile and saying Hi, how are you today?
However, today was different while I was partaking in the great Kroger shopping experience minding my own business looking for some decaf tea (yup coffee and broke up and we are not getting back together). That is when I heard a very bold and intentional “Asalamu ‘Alaikum” as I looked up to see a young lady (about 18 or maybe 20) standing next to me with a smile on her face I replied “Wa ‘Alaikum Salam” with a huge grin on my face.
We ran across each other in a few more isles and even in check out. She was a very happy social young lady that has been the first non-Muslim to greet me with a Muslim greeting with such zest and love and acceptance outside of my friends and family.
Amazing how something so random and unexpected can make ones day and take away, even for the briefest of moments, the ugliness of the world we live in.
In light of all the scary hate crimes happening to people of different races, religions and sexual orientations, with all the bullying that happens causing so many to take their own lives making this world such an ugly place to live there comes a light from someone that brightens ones day.
I usually get questions from people such as, “do you wear that scarf because your husband makes you?” “Do you wear that because of your religion?” “Are you Muslim?” or “Oh, I love your scarf that is beautiful.”
...
When I see another Muslim we greet each other with As’Salamu ‘Alaikum or Salam. When I am in public I usually initiate the greeting with non-muslims wearing a huge smile and saying Hi, how are you today?
However, today was different while I was partaking in the great Kroger shopping experience minding my own business looking for some decaf tea (yup coffee and broke up and we are not getting back together). That is when I heard a very bold and intentional “Asalamu ‘Alaikum” as I looked up to see a young lady (about 18 or maybe 20) standing next to me with a smile on her face I replied “Wa ‘Alaikum Salam” with a huge grin on my face.
We ran across each other in a few more isles and even in check out. She was a very happy social young lady that has been the first non-Muslim to greet me with a Muslim greeting with such zest and love and acceptance outside of my friends and family.
Amazing how something so random and unexpected can make ones day and take away, even for the briefest of moments, the ugliness of the world we live in.
People never cease to amaze me in a good way
I live in an area with very few muslims and quite frankly I have not seen but a few here and there. The most I saw in one day was about four at a childrens even in Flint about three weeks ago and I was amazed. I thought I was alone up in these parts.
My perception of non-muslims is that they are against Islam and really know nothing about Islam. My experience online is different then seeing people in person.
Online: Experience on youtube alone is amazingly harsh. Many Atheists, Christians and racist bigots are finding courage from behind the keyboards and their attacks are calculating, malicous and horrifying. To think these people interact with the rest of society outside of the computer is terrifying and the actions of people like Wade Micheal Page who recently shot and killed 6 people at a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin. Belonging to a white supremiscist group and was discharged from the military for "patterns of misconduct" is all to common.
It really makes one question the good in people and lose faith in humanity and the good in people. Then it happens every now and then, someone says something that totally dispells the notion that all people are against or hate Islam.
As my sister and I shopped at Khols I let out a few huge yawns that grabbed the attention of a woman about 65 or older. She said you can't be yawning right now don't you have to go home and make dinner. I assumed she was talking about Ramadan and I replied, no I can't participate in Ramadan this year so we already ate. She laughed and said no I just meant dinner but isn't Ramadan kind of like our Lent? I said it is very similiar.
I just love it when people surprise me with an open mind and knowledge. So wonderful and makes me feel happy that people recognize what I already know. I struggle with understanding some of the teaching of the Qur'an but I did also with the Bible so it is no different. It doesn't mean I don't want to be Muslim, but it means I have to find the answer within.
My perception of non-muslims is that they are against Islam and really know nothing about Islam. My experience online is different then seeing people in person.
Online: Experience on youtube alone is amazingly harsh. Many Atheists, Christians and racist bigots are finding courage from behind the keyboards and their attacks are calculating, malicous and horrifying. To think these people interact with the rest of society outside of the computer is terrifying and the actions of people like Wade Micheal Page who recently shot and killed 6 people at a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin. Belonging to a white supremiscist group and was discharged from the military for "patterns of misconduct" is all to common.
It really makes one question the good in people and lose faith in humanity and the good in people. Then it happens every now and then, someone says something that totally dispells the notion that all people are against or hate Islam.
As my sister and I shopped at Khols I let out a few huge yawns that grabbed the attention of a woman about 65 or older. She said you can't be yawning right now don't you have to go home and make dinner. I assumed she was talking about Ramadan and I replied, no I can't participate in Ramadan this year so we already ate. She laughed and said no I just meant dinner but isn't Ramadan kind of like our Lent? I said it is very similiar.
I just love it when people surprise me with an open mind and knowledge. So wonderful and makes me feel happy that people recognize what I already know. I struggle with understanding some of the teaching of the Qur'an but I did also with the Bible so it is no different. It doesn't mean I don't want to be Muslim, but it means I have to find the answer within.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
So running into the haram police lately
I am finding that my beliefs and support of the gay community is not sitting well with other Muslims as it did not with many Christians.
At first it made me feel like I shouldn't follow any religion but I love Islam. I don't agree with every single piece of its doctrine but I believe Allah has a path for me and I am following it. If he wanted me to feel or think differently he would have guided me down a different path by now. I do not want to be guided by other Muslims because they are not God and I do not conform well to "the majority" mind set or beliefs. I do not follow the popular path and rarely the more traveled path.
I may not follow the path everyone else does but I follow the path God has laid out for me and that's what is important.
At first it made me feel like I shouldn't follow any religion but I love Islam. I don't agree with every single piece of its doctrine but I believe Allah has a path for me and I am following it. If he wanted me to feel or think differently he would have guided me down a different path by now. I do not want to be guided by other Muslims because they are not God and I do not conform well to "the majority" mind set or beliefs. I do not follow the popular path and rarely the more traveled path.
I may not follow the path everyone else does but I follow the path God has laid out for me and that's what is important.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
No word on interviews
Still no word on the interviews. Ugh, get myself so geeked up for nothing. I gave good interviews. If I could bring myself to not to wear hijab I would test it out but I don't like the felling of thinking about not wearing it. Not sure if it has anything to do with it but I can't rule it out.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Mondays Interview with Hamtramk Police Department
I interviewed for the dispatch position on Monday and have yet to hear back from them or Detroits water and sewage department from the interview the previous week.
Oye....back to the application grind. Hoping to find something in Dearborn which is the largest Muslim community in the United States. Hopefully I will have luck there.
Oye....back to the application grind. Hoping to find something in Dearborn which is the largest Muslim community in the United States. Hopefully I will have luck there.
Today’s Muslim Experience:
In light of all the scary hate crimes happening to people of different races, religions and sexual orientations, with all the bullying that happens causing so many to take their own lives making this world such an ugly place to live there comes a light from someone that brightens ones day.
I usually get questions from people such as, “do you wear that scarf because your husband makes you?” “Do you wear that because of your religion?” “Are you Muslim?” or “Oh, I love your scarf that is beautiful.”
...
When I see another Muslim we greet each other with As’Salamu ‘Alaikum or Salam. When I am in public I usually initiate the greeting with non-muslims wearing a huge smile and saying Hi, how are you today?
However, today was different while I was partaking in the great Kroger shopping experience minding my own business looking for some decaf tea (yup coffee and broke up and we are not getting back together). That is when I heard a very bold and intentional “Asalamu ‘Alaikum” as I looked up to see a young lady (about 18 or maybe 20) standing next to me with a smile on her face I replied “Wa ‘Alaikum Salam” with a huge grin on my face.
We ran across each other in a few more isles and even in check out. She was a very happy social young lady that has been the first non-Muslim to greet me with a Muslim greeting with such zest and love and acceptance outside of my friends and family.
Amazing how something so random and unexpected can make ones day and take away, even for the briefest of moments, the ugliness of the world we live in.
I usually get questions from people such as, “do you wear that scarf because your husband makes you?” “Do you wear that because of your religion?” “Are you Muslim?” or “Oh, I love your scarf that is beautiful.”
...
When I see another Muslim we greet each other with As’Salamu ‘Alaikum or Salam. When I am in public I usually initiate the greeting with non-muslims wearing a huge smile and saying Hi, how are you today?
However, today was different while I was partaking in the great Kroger shopping experience minding my own business looking for some decaf tea (yup coffee and broke up and we are not getting back together). That is when I heard a very bold and intentional “Asalamu ‘Alaikum” as I looked up to see a young lady (about 18 or maybe 20) standing next to me with a smile on her face I replied “Wa ‘Alaikum Salam” with a huge grin on my face.
We ran across each other in a few more isles and even in check out. She was a very happy social young lady that has been the first non-Muslim to greet me with a Muslim greeting with such zest and love and acceptance outside of my friends and family.
Amazing how something so random and unexpected can make ones day and take away, even for the briefest of moments, the ugliness of the world we live in.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
New interview
What lady has an interview with a police department in Michigan on Monday? This one right here! yay!!!! So exited about this one in particular. I really want to keep in with criminal justice and I want to expand my horizons to other jobs and skills. Maybe I will be able to do both insha'Allah.
Pleas make dua's for me with this last two interviews.
Pleas make dua's for me with this last two interviews.
Update on Tuesday (07/31/12) Interview
As I had posted previously, I had an interview on Tuesday for Detroit Water and Sewage. I decided to be loyal to myself and my beliefs and chose to wear my hijab. I left feeling good and thought the interview went well. I hope and pray to get a call back for the job.
Dinner at mothers
So my brother and sister-in-law were up from Texas last week. My sister-in-law has been up for the past two weeks and we enjoyed spending sometime together. She is a lovely, lovely woman and is raising my nephews so well. She is very sweet and so open minded. She just looked at me and said she I looked beautiful and was so happy I found something that makes me so happy.
My brother who arrived this past Saturday thinks differently. I love my brother, however, we have never been real close and we rarely talk. We really do not know each other and he really does not know me personally. It doesn't make me love him any less, however, it helps me not take his critical opinions and beliefs to heart when it comes to judging me.
My brother and sister-in-law were late for dinner because they had taken my young nephews to Greenfield Village in Dearborn. When they arrived he walked up and gave me a hug and said hi. He mentioned nothing about my hijab. However, as we were all sitting down outside having ate such a delicious dinner my mom prepared for us and basking in funny conversation, most everyone drinking many large glasses of wine (I don't drink but I enjoyed the fact they all became funnier as they consumed more wine lol) he looked across the patio table at me and said "What are you wearing?" I replied, "a hijab" and he asked "why?" and I replied "because I am Muslim and it is between God and I" and he asked "why?" and I replied "because that's the way it is" and he asked "why?" and I said because I like it!" He then asked "how do you expect to get a job looking like that?" I replied many Muslim women work in America and wear their hijab." and it ended. My stepfather who does not like me and never has then took that as his cue to chime in and take a stab at me, "yes but are you a practicing Muslim? Do you get your 5 prayers a day in?" I replied "I do pray, sometimes I pray only once a day, sometimes more. I am working on it." That ended the conversation...smh....I really do not care for my stepfather either but for my mother I do not say what I would really like to say to him which would probably get me banned from her home lol.
When it was time to leave my brother could barely bring himself to hug me good-bye and it really wasn't a hug at all. I just said, just accept me for who I am and he replied "this isn't you" and he repeated it several times after I said yes it is me. As I said in the beginning, we rarely talked, maybe twice in the past 7 years. I love him and he is my brother but we don't know each other. We are and will always be family but our lives and beliefs are different.
I would accept my family and love them regardless of their choices, nor would I turn to them and tell them (out side of hurting themselves with drugs or being involved in domestic violence) they weren't who they are. It stings because he is my brother but at the same time it isn't all that painful because our personal relationship is distant and that really doesn't hurt me. It is what it is.
However, my sister-in-law left me so inspired and hopeful and happy. I just have a new found respect and love for her. She is wonderful with the boys and they are so well behaved and communicate at a level well beyond their years.
My brother is a very wonderful father. I had a chance to watch him interact with the boys when they were both upset and he did an excellent job. As parents they have proven that people do not need to spank or hit their kids in order to teach them to behave, to get along and to share and to be kind to others. Very well done! Kudos to both of them.
p.s. my stepfather is a whole conversation on its own and may deserve its own blog, however, I am not going to invest anytime or energy in detail or length on him as he is not deserving of such attention. If you have questions I will answer them but otherwise you may only get little spurts of info her an there and far in between. :)
My brother who arrived this past Saturday thinks differently. I love my brother, however, we have never been real close and we rarely talk. We really do not know each other and he really does not know me personally. It doesn't make me love him any less, however, it helps me not take his critical opinions and beliefs to heart when it comes to judging me.
My brother and sister-in-law were late for dinner because they had taken my young nephews to Greenfield Village in Dearborn. When they arrived he walked up and gave me a hug and said hi. He mentioned nothing about my hijab. However, as we were all sitting down outside having ate such a delicious dinner my mom prepared for us and basking in funny conversation, most everyone drinking many large glasses of wine (I don't drink but I enjoyed the fact they all became funnier as they consumed more wine lol) he looked across the patio table at me and said "What are you wearing?" I replied, "a hijab" and he asked "why?" and I replied "because I am Muslim and it is between God and I" and he asked "why?" and I replied "because that's the way it is" and he asked "why?" and I said because I like it!" He then asked "how do you expect to get a job looking like that?" I replied many Muslim women work in America and wear their hijab." and it ended. My stepfather who does not like me and never has then took that as his cue to chime in and take a stab at me, "yes but are you a practicing Muslim? Do you get your 5 prayers a day in?" I replied "I do pray, sometimes I pray only once a day, sometimes more. I am working on it." That ended the conversation...smh....I really do not care for my stepfather either but for my mother I do not say what I would really like to say to him which would probably get me banned from her home lol.
When it was time to leave my brother could barely bring himself to hug me good-bye and it really wasn't a hug at all. I just said, just accept me for who I am and he replied "this isn't you" and he repeated it several times after I said yes it is me. As I said in the beginning, we rarely talked, maybe twice in the past 7 years. I love him and he is my brother but we don't know each other. We are and will always be family but our lives and beliefs are different.
I would accept my family and love them regardless of their choices, nor would I turn to them and tell them (out side of hurting themselves with drugs or being involved in domestic violence) they weren't who they are. It stings because he is my brother but at the same time it isn't all that painful because our personal relationship is distant and that really doesn't hurt me. It is what it is.
However, my sister-in-law left me so inspired and hopeful and happy. I just have a new found respect and love for her. She is wonderful with the boys and they are so well behaved and communicate at a level well beyond their years.
My brother is a very wonderful father. I had a chance to watch him interact with the boys when they were both upset and he did an excellent job. As parents they have proven that people do not need to spank or hit their kids in order to teach them to behave, to get along and to share and to be kind to others. Very well done! Kudos to both of them.
p.s. my stepfather is a whole conversation on its own and may deserve its own blog, however, I am not going to invest anytime or energy in detail or length on him as he is not deserving of such attention. If you have questions I will answer them but otherwise you may only get little spurts of info her an there and far in between. :)
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Today a friend said they are facinated by what I am doing
Today a friend has told me he is fascinated by what I am doing. Meaning my conversion to Islam. I started this journey as a social study but it turned into much more. As I have said before it was always more and the social study was my excuse to start living the life I was always meant to live.
He is not the first to keep track of my journey, ask questions, and support me and it feels wonderful. This journey has mainly been uneventful and my only highs have been my own emotions and feelings on my journey. I have not worried about the lost friends or family because it is their own feelings and issues to deal with. I can make my own worries and troubles I don't need theirs. Other negativity comes from people I don't know on social sites like facebook and YouTube. I have come across some very racist bigoted people and even more Christian evangelical fundamentalist who are terrorists that just haven't taken a life yet. OMG....the evil people in this world that hide behind any religion is terrible.
Overall, this has been a positive move.
He is not the first to keep track of my journey, ask questions, and support me and it feels wonderful. This journey has mainly been uneventful and my only highs have been my own emotions and feelings on my journey. I have not worried about the lost friends or family because it is their own feelings and issues to deal with. I can make my own worries and troubles I don't need theirs. Other negativity comes from people I don't know on social sites like facebook and YouTube. I have come across some very racist bigoted people and even more Christian evangelical fundamentalist who are terrorists that just haven't taken a life yet. OMG....the evil people in this world that hide behind any religion is terrible.
Overall, this has been a positive move.
Interview Tuesday the 31st of July
I have an interview on the 31st. I have been laid off for the past year and a half. I am desperate for a job because my unemployment runs out very shortly. I know that many people have ill feelings towards Muslims and are afraid of Muslims so I fear I will not get this job because of it. I have been struggling with the decision to wear my hijab or to leave it home. I may not be good at practicing and being consistent with my prayers but my conviction is true to my very core. I know where my heart is. I do not want to live a lie at work and people will be suspicious if I show up to work wearing hijab, taking it off for work then putting it back on to go home. The only reason I shouldn't wear it if it is hazardous to my job.
I had at least three non-Muslims who support me tell me to be true to myself and my religion shouldn't matter to who hires me as long as I can do the job. It touched my heart the support they gave.
I still have two days to make my decision.
I had at least three non-Muslims who support me tell me to be true to myself and my religion shouldn't matter to who hires me as long as I can do the job. It touched my heart the support they gave.
I still have two days to make my decision.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Every experience is just that, an experience. Not a big deal!
Since I started wearing hijab and converted to Islam I have had many different reactions. As I have always said the reactions from people I know have been more pronounced than from strangers. However, there have been a few times when strangers have made their disgust or dislikes apparent. I compare such experiences with the ones previous to wearing hijab.
Most people just stare which is nothing unusual or discomforting. However today when I went into the local dollar store that I have been going to for the past three years I experienced something odd to me. The women who usually said hello just starred and as I walked down the isle to retrieve the item I was looking for I turned to see one of the workers at the end of the isle starring at me. She said nothing but was looking at me. I said hello and smiled as I walked past her and she said nothing. She walked back to where she was standing when I entered the store. lol...I find some of the experiences funny as to how blatant people are. That had never happened to me before so I am fully aware of the difference in reactions that I experienced prior.
As a part of my journey I also post a few things on facebook. Today someone thought I, and I quote,
"I think you make to much out of this and maybe want to create some drama to get your point across!"
I assure you I do not have to lie or create drama around my experience. People are who they are and they feel the way they feel. 98% of my experience has been positive. 2% has been negative and the negative has mainly come from family and friends. I found the incident I described above to be rather humorous and decided to share. Aside for some racist keyboard warriors on my Youtube account who have said some blatantly malicious things and a few friends and family members this journey has been positive. I have learned that people who really don't know me take what I post differently then those who do. Sometimes I just need to chose how to say something more carefully.
Quite frankly I have had a wonderful experience during my journey and love my life.
Most people just stare which is nothing unusual or discomforting. However today when I went into the local dollar store that I have been going to for the past three years I experienced something odd to me. The women who usually said hello just starred and as I walked down the isle to retrieve the item I was looking for I turned to see one of the workers at the end of the isle starring at me. She said nothing but was looking at me. I said hello and smiled as I walked past her and she said nothing. She walked back to where she was standing when I entered the store. lol...I find some of the experiences funny as to how blatant people are. That had never happened to me before so I am fully aware of the difference in reactions that I experienced prior.
As a part of my journey I also post a few things on facebook. Today someone thought I, and I quote,
"I think you make to much out of this and maybe want to create some drama to get your point across!"
I assure you I do not have to lie or create drama around my experience. People are who they are and they feel the way they feel. 98% of my experience has been positive. 2% has been negative and the negative has mainly come from family and friends. I found the incident I described above to be rather humorous and decided to share. Aside for some racist keyboard warriors on my Youtube account who have said some blatantly malicious things and a few friends and family members this journey has been positive. I have learned that people who really don't know me take what I post differently then those who do. Sometimes I just need to chose how to say something more carefully.
Quite frankly I have had a wonderful experience during my journey and love my life.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Having a few days to think about it....Honestly, I have been treated better by strangers who have opened their hearts and their minds.
The more I think about it the more I digest my mothers reaction. I understand she is entitled to her beliefs and due to her Christian beliefs she is worried about me. She did attempt to help me shop for more froufrou girly clothes but is it too much to just be happy for me that I have found a faith that I connect too? The strain she shows is obvious and I am torn between understanding and being offended.
My whole life has been spent worrying about what others thought and trying to conform to others beliefs and what they like so I would not be rejected. I finally step out on my own and do something from my heart and for me and lol I feel somewhat rejected and....I can't find the word. Anyway, it is very off putting. To get caught up in your own beliefs that you think it is the only answer or way and feel you have to insult others with telling them "Jesus is going to visit them" with a tone that was insulting is insulting and sort of makes me mad. I was not brought up to think I was better then the next person so when did that all change?
I did not chose to be Christian, it was the only thing I was taught. It was the only thing that I thought I had an option to be. I wasn't given a choice to learn about other religions, to study or educate myself with them. I never connected with Christianity regardless of how much I tried to understand, believe and practice it. If truth be told I haven't been Christian for years. I tried to take my son to church but how could I make him go to church when I knew I wasn't fully on board with Christianity.
I never understood the "trinity" and I never understood how the bible could tell us there are no good spirits just demons and fortune telling and horoscopes that tell your future are evil yet Jesus was supposedly embodied after death by God and brought back to life and the bible is full of teachings of the future. It just doesn't make sense to me and never has.
For someone to sit and tell me about my religion and what is in the Qur'an yet has never read the Qur'an and relies on what they have heard someone else say about the Qur'an. Yet when I address it with them and give them the correct meaning or correct teaching they adamantly deny what I say and insist on believing the demonizing of the Qur'an. Its insulting as a 44 year old woman who has studied this for a long time before converting to be yelled at as if I was wrong when my mother was wrong. I don't care who it is or how old the person is. I don't care if it were my 87 year old grandfather or my 65 year old mother if your wrong your wrong and I will not just keep my mouth shut because you feel your older and I should respect what you say even though you are wrong. Not going to happen with me! I chose to follow Islam for a reason because it is the right religion. I feel they are being left behind with their choice of Christianity, however, I do not tell them they are wrong and if my mom points out the things she thinks she knows about the Qur'an I point out the same thing in the Bible and oh my God she gets so mad. NO NO NO...and she is offended. Well, don't tell me mine is wrong regardless if I try to tell you the correct meaning or teaching and not allow me the same respect to do the same.
Ugh....I pray to Allah this will pass. I will have more patience and continue to follow my path. I prayed to God to guide me in the right direction no matter what direction that was and he led me to the truth of Islam. I am happy. That is what matters. I have decided that I will not be attending the family reunion. As much as people tried to make me comfortable and not say anything about Islam I could feel the tension. Mom was more worried about what my grandfather and auntie would think (which made me more nervous) then saying so what, your my daughter and if your happy and found a faith that if for you then who cares. smh.....nope....couldn't get that. Every time I said something about wearing hijab and asked if my neck was covered I could feel her discontentment. Her whispers to my sister under her breath that I could hear. smh......My father who is atheist may not understand but he is supportive. If one more person tells me to worry about a grandparents reaction instead of saying "ya know what Tracie is happy and living a wonderful life happily and she found a faith that has led her to God and that is OK" I will just distance myself further until they decide to come around. I will continue to live a good life and hopefully they will see by example that it is the right one and just be happy for me. Honestly, I have been treated better by strangers who have opened their hearts and their minds. I was taught to love everyone and respect everyone and not to push my beliefs on them. Some of the same family that taught me that is not practicing that.
Masha'Allah they come around.
My whole life has been spent worrying about what others thought and trying to conform to others beliefs and what they like so I would not be rejected. I finally step out on my own and do something from my heart and for me and lol I feel somewhat rejected and....I can't find the word. Anyway, it is very off putting. To get caught up in your own beliefs that you think it is the only answer or way and feel you have to insult others with telling them "Jesus is going to visit them" with a tone that was insulting is insulting and sort of makes me mad. I was not brought up to think I was better then the next person so when did that all change?
I did not chose to be Christian, it was the only thing I was taught. It was the only thing that I thought I had an option to be. I wasn't given a choice to learn about other religions, to study or educate myself with them. I never connected with Christianity regardless of how much I tried to understand, believe and practice it. If truth be told I haven't been Christian for years. I tried to take my son to church but how could I make him go to church when I knew I wasn't fully on board with Christianity.
I never understood the "trinity" and I never understood how the bible could tell us there are no good spirits just demons and fortune telling and horoscopes that tell your future are evil yet Jesus was supposedly embodied after death by God and brought back to life and the bible is full of teachings of the future. It just doesn't make sense to me and never has.
For someone to sit and tell me about my religion and what is in the Qur'an yet has never read the Qur'an and relies on what they have heard someone else say about the Qur'an. Yet when I address it with them and give them the correct meaning or correct teaching they adamantly deny what I say and insist on believing the demonizing of the Qur'an. Its insulting as a 44 year old woman who has studied this for a long time before converting to be yelled at as if I was wrong when my mother was wrong. I don't care who it is or how old the person is. I don't care if it were my 87 year old grandfather or my 65 year old mother if your wrong your wrong and I will not just keep my mouth shut because you feel your older and I should respect what you say even though you are wrong. Not going to happen with me! I chose to follow Islam for a reason because it is the right religion. I feel they are being left behind with their choice of Christianity, however, I do not tell them they are wrong and if my mom points out the things she thinks she knows about the Qur'an I point out the same thing in the Bible and oh my God she gets so mad. NO NO NO...and she is offended. Well, don't tell me mine is wrong regardless if I try to tell you the correct meaning or teaching and not allow me the same respect to do the same.
Ugh....I pray to Allah this will pass. I will have more patience and continue to follow my path. I prayed to God to guide me in the right direction no matter what direction that was and he led me to the truth of Islam. I am happy. That is what matters. I have decided that I will not be attending the family reunion. As much as people tried to make me comfortable and not say anything about Islam I could feel the tension. Mom was more worried about what my grandfather and auntie would think (which made me more nervous) then saying so what, your my daughter and if your happy and found a faith that if for you then who cares. smh.....nope....couldn't get that. Every time I said something about wearing hijab and asked if my neck was covered I could feel her discontentment. Her whispers to my sister under her breath that I could hear. smh......My father who is atheist may not understand but he is supportive. If one more person tells me to worry about a grandparents reaction instead of saying "ya know what Tracie is happy and living a wonderful life happily and she found a faith that has led her to God and that is OK" I will just distance myself further until they decide to come around. I will continue to live a good life and hopefully they will see by example that it is the right one and just be happy for me. Honestly, I have been treated better by strangers who have opened their hearts and their minds. I was taught to love everyone and respect everyone and not to push my beliefs on them. Some of the same family that taught me that is not practicing that.
Masha'Allah they come around.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Vaca with my mom and sister
My mom asked my sister and I to drive with her to North Carolina from the 3rd to the 8th of July. This made me a bit nervous because this is the side of the family that are devout Christians. Even though my mom had not said anything about my converting she is not happy and will never understand because she has in her head what she "thinks" she already knows about Islam. She refuses to listen to any videos I have provided. Maybe she fears of learning the truth, that Islam is the only way or that low and behold Islam is the exact opposite of what she "thinks" already knows. My nervousness became more profound when my mom said my grandpa was "probably" already going to try to talk me out of Islam and that I was not to talk back to him because he is 87 years old.
Well the car ride started out tense because my mom tried telling me that Islam was wrong and I was wrong. I told her that I would have to believe in all the teachings of Christianity to believe that and I don't. I believe that the Bible is the word of God. I do not believe Jesus is his son nor that Jesus died on the cross. I believe Jesus is a great prophet and Mohamed is the last prophet. My mom said "I told you not to read the Qur'an" and with a bit of a over fundamentalist tone "Jesus is going to come visit you." These close minded views and pushy over and undertones of some Christians is a huge turn off for me and pushes me further away from those types of people. I love my mother, however, I can't tolerate that type of belief, attitude or way of communicating and passing judgment.
All though there was nothing said to me in North Carolina there was tension and I could feel it. If they have hopes of me reconverting they will be disappointed. I am and will always be Muslim. I love Allah and it is the only way for me! I dare say that it has always been that way because I have always felt a disconnect from Christianity; even as a child. I have never really understood Christianity in the way that it was taught and some of the teachings. i.e. trinity, son of God etc...
Even now I question, if in the bible there are no such thing as good spirits just evil then how is Jesus embodied by a spirit and brought back to life from death. In today's time we call someone who rises from the grave a zombie who eats the brains of humans. And for those who wake from death in a hospital or at home a medical miracle or its just plain simple they weren't really dead in the first place and their body needed a break and time to recover. Or the answer I like the best is that there is only one God! No trinity, no savior or son of Christ. Just plain and simple God. My relationship with God is my own. I love Allah! My mom wanted to argue my belief but alas it is not what I believe in. She argued about a religion she knows nothing about except what someone has filled her head with and refuses to believe what I had to say because it goes against her beliefs. That is fine and dandy but don't push your views and beliefs on me. I am not pushing mine on you or anyone else. That goes for any family, friend or persons I am acquainted with or do not know.
It was at my cousins house in North Carolina that I had a good laugh to myself at her husbands attempt to ruffle my feathers. We all arrived and were sitting in her beautiful back yard when her husband came out in a black t-shirt with the word "infidel" written on it in English and Arabic. Yes a not so subtle way of announcing ones disgust with Islam and a personal attack on me since he knew I was on my way to visit. I did not address it because I was not about to encourage or acknowledge his racist bigot statement and feed into his hate and contempt. However, I had a good laugh to myself at the patheticness of it all and at him!
During the trip I did not see one Muslim woman, at least not one wearing a hijab. Not until we reached the Ohio/Michigan border where we stopped to eat dinner. Again, my moms disgust and anger towards my beliefs released and she started in again with my views are wrong and she added her (misinformation) knowledge about the Qur'an and its teachings. She refused to believe me when I told her, her information was incorrect and yelled at me. smh.....that is the attitude and behavior of someone who lives in fear of the truth that goes against what they believe and are to afraid to and refuse to believe anything different then what they already have in their heads. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from those people. Since this is my family I am talking about I will keep contact and love them but I will not put myself out there or go out of my way to prove myself in anyway.
I do have to say my sister (who I drive crazy at times...well ok all the time) supports me unconditionally. She is one of a few. My sister, son, niece, dad, and a few others in my family support me.
Sometimes we just have to get up and walk away from those who do not support us or who do nothing but focus on their hate and misinformation about other peoples religion, ethnicity or whatever beliefs they may have.
I am Muslim and I am proud!
Well the car ride started out tense because my mom tried telling me that Islam was wrong and I was wrong. I told her that I would have to believe in all the teachings of Christianity to believe that and I don't. I believe that the Bible is the word of God. I do not believe Jesus is his son nor that Jesus died on the cross. I believe Jesus is a great prophet and Mohamed is the last prophet. My mom said "I told you not to read the Qur'an" and with a bit of a over fundamentalist tone "Jesus is going to come visit you." These close minded views and pushy over and undertones of some Christians is a huge turn off for me and pushes me further away from those types of people. I love my mother, however, I can't tolerate that type of belief, attitude or way of communicating and passing judgment.
All though there was nothing said to me in North Carolina there was tension and I could feel it. If they have hopes of me reconverting they will be disappointed. I am and will always be Muslim. I love Allah and it is the only way for me! I dare say that it has always been that way because I have always felt a disconnect from Christianity; even as a child. I have never really understood Christianity in the way that it was taught and some of the teachings. i.e. trinity, son of God etc...
Even now I question, if in the bible there are no such thing as good spirits just evil then how is Jesus embodied by a spirit and brought back to life from death. In today's time we call someone who rises from the grave a zombie who eats the brains of humans. And for those who wake from death in a hospital or at home a medical miracle or its just plain simple they weren't really dead in the first place and their body needed a break and time to recover. Or the answer I like the best is that there is only one God! No trinity, no savior or son of Christ. Just plain and simple God. My relationship with God is my own. I love Allah! My mom wanted to argue my belief but alas it is not what I believe in. She argued about a religion she knows nothing about except what someone has filled her head with and refuses to believe what I had to say because it goes against her beliefs. That is fine and dandy but don't push your views and beliefs on me. I am not pushing mine on you or anyone else. That goes for any family, friend or persons I am acquainted with or do not know.
It was at my cousins house in North Carolina that I had a good laugh to myself at her husbands attempt to ruffle my feathers. We all arrived and were sitting in her beautiful back yard when her husband came out in a black t-shirt with the word "infidel" written on it in English and Arabic. Yes a not so subtle way of announcing ones disgust with Islam and a personal attack on me since he knew I was on my way to visit. I did not address it because I was not about to encourage or acknowledge his racist bigot statement and feed into his hate and contempt. However, I had a good laugh to myself at the patheticness of it all and at him!
During the trip I did not see one Muslim woman, at least not one wearing a hijab. Not until we reached the Ohio/Michigan border where we stopped to eat dinner. Again, my moms disgust and anger towards my beliefs released and she started in again with my views are wrong and she added her (misinformation) knowledge about the Qur'an and its teachings. She refused to believe me when I told her, her information was incorrect and yelled at me. smh.....that is the attitude and behavior of someone who lives in fear of the truth that goes against what they believe and are to afraid to and refuse to believe anything different then what they already have in their heads. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from those people. Since this is my family I am talking about I will keep contact and love them but I will not put myself out there or go out of my way to prove myself in anyway.
Sometimes we just have to get up and walk away from those who do not support us or who do nothing but focus on their hate and misinformation about other peoples religion, ethnicity or whatever beliefs they may have.
I am Muslim and I am proud!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
North Carolina trip with mom and my sister
Taking a last minute trip to North Carolina with my mom and sister on Tuesday. I am excited and nervous. I am really looking forward to this trip but do not know what to expect. This is the side of the family who are devout Christians and I do not want to spend my time with my family in a huge debate over Christianity and Islam. I know that people fear what they don't understand and have never learned about. Hopefully I will be a good role model for who Muslims are and its nothing to fear. :)
I am not afraid of them trying to talk me out of being Muslim. I just don't know what to expect whether they will be accepting or full of fear and misunderstanding. I can't use the word hate because I have never known my family to hate anyone. We were brought up to love and respect everyone. I would not say my family is normally full of fear misjudgments but we are not perfect either. I haven't been around them since I converted but I have heard some statements that would make my concerns realistic which is no need to point out who they are or what it was. It is what it is but I still love them with all my heart.
I will be fine, Insha' Allah, Allah gives me the knowledge and strength to be the best and most positive example of Muslim I can be. Insha'Allah, Allah will help me find the words and answers. Insha' Allah they will not have any problems with me or my religion and just see the same ol' Tracie. :)
I am not afraid of them trying to talk me out of being Muslim. I just don't know what to expect whether they will be accepting or full of fear and misunderstanding. I can't use the word hate because I have never known my family to hate anyone. We were brought up to love and respect everyone. I would not say my family is normally full of fear misjudgments but we are not perfect either. I haven't been around them since I converted but I have heard some statements that would make my concerns realistic which is no need to point out who they are or what it was. It is what it is but I still love them with all my heart.
I will be fine, Insha' Allah, Allah gives me the knowledge and strength to be the best and most positive example of Muslim I can be. Insha'Allah, Allah will help me find the words and answers. Insha' Allah they will not have any problems with me or my religion and just see the same ol' Tracie. :)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
My Son
Masha'allah my son (24 years old) told me today that he is thinking about converting to Islam. Tears well up in my eyes. He said he has been listening to the videos I sent him and reading the book and he said it just makes more sense. Insha'allah he finds his way to Islam. It has to be his own research and his own dicission.
I originally gave him the video so he could understand what the religion was that I converted to. He has sense been looking for other videos and educating himself Subhan'Allah!
My son is very protective of me and always has been so it is no surprise that he is very aware of others who take notice of me. Bless him he is a very observant young man even as I am totally oblivious to the stares and frowns of others. I was proud because today when he noticed an elderly man starring at me while we ate he brought up the good things about both Christianity and Islam and their huge similiarities which was amazing since any other time he would have confronted the person. Today he was much more interested in engaging in good conversation on an excellant topic.
Islam has a lot of good to teach my son. I pray he finds his way.
I originally gave him the video so he could understand what the religion was that I converted to. He has sense been looking for other videos and educating himself Subhan'Allah!
My son is very protective of me and always has been so it is no surprise that he is very aware of others who take notice of me. Bless him he is a very observant young man even as I am totally oblivious to the stares and frowns of others. I was proud because today when he noticed an elderly man starring at me while we ate he brought up the good things about both Christianity and Islam and their huge similiarities which was amazing since any other time he would have confronted the person. Today he was much more interested in engaging in good conversation on an excellant topic.
Islam has a lot of good to teach my son. I pray he finds his way.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Another family member deletes me
My cousin has deleted me from facebook. Although this is family I am not hurt. It is their choice. I make no apologies for who I am or what I believ in. Facebook is only a social site and I wouldn't have contact with this cousin outside of facebook. Regardless, they were not happy with my political statements or my religious changes and that is ok. I wish them much love and happiness. (((hugs))))
Christian harasses and attacks me on the social network Youtube.
I have learned a lot about people, ones I know and don't know on my journey.
Anyone who truly knows me knows I am no terrorist and have only love in my heart.Islam is a peaceful loving religion and I love my religion. I love Allah!!!! I like to think I get that from my upbringing and have that foundation to build off of. I changed my faith not me, my culture or my Loyalty to my country.
I would share the inbox with the video he sent me but it is to graphic and henious and I do not support Muslim extremists or any extremists from any religion.
Peoples prejudices, hate and fears control them and it produces an ugly person and is rearing its ugly head more and more. Most times we just have to ignore them and walk away and other times we have to defend ourselves. Most people who know me know that I have a wee little bit of a mouth on me and I really have a teensy weensy problem holding back especially when someone does something stupid, ignorant or heinous. Just a little, not bad…… :/
So today (06/22/2012) a so called “Christian” man who had been attacking me for supporting Christian women who wear hijab (my comment was actually made when I was still a Christian and basically stated I loved wearing a hijab and support women who do.) Anyway, I received an inbox from this person who sent me a horrific video of a man who converted from Islam to Christianity being beheaded by Muslim extremists. So this fundamentalist extremist Christian sent me a video of Muslim extremists committing a truly heinous act. Smh…..What the? Are you kidding me? Huh….ok I got this…..
I took my hijab off for a brief moment and had a talk with him “Inksta style” and put my hijab back on. (For those who don’t know, taking my hijab off is a metaphor, I didn’t do it literally) I bet he doesn’t send me another video or reply. BET!!! I wish a mutha f*$&@ would!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I am not posting this for anything more than documenting as a part of my journey. I know there are people out there like this, I know we should ignore this and I know I was going to get this type of reaction from people. However, it’s one thing to have an opinion or belief; it’s another to blatantly disrespect and attack me because of your misinformed, preconceived notions of fear and hate. I will bite back!!!!!!!! I really don’t care if your family, friend or stranger in this regard. We all know this all ready.
I would share the inbox with the video he sent me but it is to graphic and henious and I do not support Muslim extremists or any extremists from any religion.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Conversion
Do I think I made a mistake converting? NO! Not on your life. It feels right and I know I have done the right thing for myself. I notice small differences in myself. If someone scorned me before conversion I would pray karma would get them and punish them. Now I pray for them and I pray Allah guides them in the right direction.
Insh'allah, I will meet my own goals for prayer from now on.
Struggling with the fact that I am only supposed to marry a muslim man is a whole other ball of wax. I would prefer to stay single if I can't marry someone I love as opposed to "having" to marry within my religion. Do I feel oppressed about this issue? NO! Because at the end of the day I will be making my own decision for myself and pray Allah understands. I am still an American independant woman with American culture running through my viens. It is a bit of a tug of war but will take time. It it comes down to being forced to marry muslim (which isn't a bad thing) or marrying someone I love.....well what do you tink I will do. The future remains to be seen. I am Muslim and have only dated black men. (Not remotely attracted to white men) so there is comfort in knowing there are black muslim men out there for me to chose from. Hopefully at my age I will find one that matches my personality, thoughts and beliefs.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Was deleted yet again by another friend/ex-coworker
I don't know how long ago a former male police co-worker deleted me from face book but he did. This would be the same person who said I was strange for wearing the hijab and said my hijab is a symbol of women being oppressed and a symbol and reason American soldiers are being hurt and killed.
How do I feel about this? I feel no sadness or disappointed what-so-ever. This is someone who gave me hell when I first started at the police department, became one of my best friends and told me I turned out to be a very good officer and after I left the department nothing. He did defend me when it came to my dv situation and I appreciated that. Sometimes, people change as they evolve through life but that doesn't give anyone to mistreat and speak poorly to another person.
I think I have made many police officers mad because I have stood up and I am telling my experience as a police officer and the relationships with other officers and some of them are very negative and shine an inside light into the world of women in policing. Officers tend to not like people talking crap about officers or first responders period for several reasons. So I am sure that my blogging about our last conversation and the fact that I converted had something to do with it. Also that I hold a strong opinion about police behavior and actions that are uncalled for. Having been on both sides of the fence I have a well rounded view of the issue.
Anyway, no loss for me. I do not need that negativity in my life but I will pray for him and Insha'allah he stays well and blessed.
How do I feel about this? I feel no sadness or disappointed what-so-ever. This is someone who gave me hell when I first started at the police department, became one of my best friends and told me I turned out to be a very good officer and after I left the department nothing. He did defend me when it came to my dv situation and I appreciated that. Sometimes, people change as they evolve through life but that doesn't give anyone to mistreat and speak poorly to another person.
I think I have made many police officers mad because I have stood up and I am telling my experience as a police officer and the relationships with other officers and some of them are very negative and shine an inside light into the world of women in policing. Officers tend to not like people talking crap about officers or first responders period for several reasons. So I am sure that my blogging about our last conversation and the fact that I converted had something to do with it. Also that I hold a strong opinion about police behavior and actions that are uncalled for. Having been on both sides of the fence I have a well rounded view of the issue.
Anyway, no loss for me. I do not need that negativity in my life but I will pray for him and Insha'allah he stays well and blessed.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Even the smallest of compliments are a good sign and contact from intolerent people is annoying!
I live in an area where I do not see many Muslimah women in mid-Michigan. When I do we exchange hello's in the way of Asalama alaykum. I haven't had too many negative reactions by non-Muslims thus far. In the last few weeks I have had women tell me that my scarves are very pretty. Including today and it puts a smile on my face. My religion might not be theres but they are peaceful and accepting.
The negative contact I have had with people I do not know have been inboxes on social sites like Youtube where Christians attack me and Islam leaving long messages. Such as the one below:
"sorry i cant find the URL again i apologize for that, listen islam is not the solution im sure its given you a brand new identity and i bet its because you were either a slut or you were force fed christianity to much and you started despising either both or, your a traitor but, is your new faith faith or spite? you wont be the first person who was taught the wrong way, as christians we also live by our own free will and the more you emulate jesus the nicer person you are. people do that without prayer 5 times a day fasting and so on. if you enjoy putting your body through rigorous self righteousness dont starve yourself go climb a mountain, maybe you will see god or mohammed with his sword. the truth is you wear islam like a badge and you know its 'bullcrap' really as you say. i could sit here explaining how mohammed was a pedophile but it would be like talking to a brick wall wouldn't it. the thing is i don't want to know why you reverted but why you ignore the discrepancy's of filth and hypocrisy inside your sparkling brand new religion. how did this ignorance suddenly make you 'free'?
mohammed slayed africans, then prophesied 'slave rape' as booty which conveniently abrogates adultery. called them raisin heads.
he married a 6 year old and masturbated his penis between her thighs until he decided her hole was big enough when she was 9.
as a female why would you make exceptions for a religion which is clearly unequal and sexist? mohammed said he saw hell and it was mostly filled with women. how did that happen? did these women go to hell for confiding themselves into the kitchen? because they have no say and there testimony is 4 times less in an islamic court if they get raped? because if a woman cant prove she got raped then not only is she sentenced by the islamic court she also goes to hell, is that really the will of god?
listen christians believe jesus was the son of god all that requires is faith! ive said this a million times even if jesus isnt true the new testament is a great blueprint for mankind. if you dont believe make a comparison with western culture or islamic 7th century culture which they enforce, its a no brainer. the muslims those of satan may argue 'how can god be a man' in a nutshell you was sold on that rhetoric when you sold out and now your convinced by that one little thing. religion always requires faith its mandatory but you forgot something very very important which the muslims dont tell you and that is god can be whatever he wants even a man, allah even said this you can check. so what do you prefer? re-interpreting what type of message mohammed married a 6 year old means, then constantly lying what it means or play it safe with christianity?
if god gave you and you only the choice for mankind which person to resurrect you know would pick jesus so stop the 'bullcrap'. choosing islam could be the biggest mistake ever and if we do answer to god dont expect sympathy because you thought it was following the word of god and he will forgive you for it and open the gates, he wont. follow your heart for that is only the deeds of what is holy."
That was left in my inbox on Youtube by "LIVEREALFOOLED"
***It was obvious this person knows not one thing about Islam, the prophet or Allah outside of the media and hateful rants of bigots and I asked this person not to contact me again and he did with another long diseration. I have no hard feelings for someone like this but I have no time for ignorance either**
The negative contact I have had with people I do not know have been inboxes on social sites like Youtube where Christians attack me and Islam leaving long messages. Such as the one below:
"sorry i cant find the URL again i apologize for that, listen islam is not the solution im sure its given you a brand new identity and i bet its because you were either a slut or you were force fed christianity to much and you started despising either both or, your a traitor but, is your new faith faith or spite? you wont be the first person who was taught the wrong way, as christians we also live by our own free will and the more you emulate jesus the nicer person you are. people do that without prayer 5 times a day fasting and so on. if you enjoy putting your body through rigorous self righteousness dont starve yourself go climb a mountain, maybe you will see god or mohammed with his sword. the truth is you wear islam like a badge and you know its 'bullcrap' really as you say. i could sit here explaining how mohammed was a pedophile but it would be like talking to a brick wall wouldn't it. the thing is i don't want to know why you reverted but why you ignore the discrepancy's of filth and hypocrisy inside your sparkling brand new religion. how did this ignorance suddenly make you 'free'?
mohammed slayed africans, then prophesied 'slave rape' as booty which conveniently abrogates adultery. called them raisin heads.
he married a 6 year old and masturbated his penis between her thighs until he decided her hole was big enough when she was 9.
as a female why would you make exceptions for a religion which is clearly unequal and sexist? mohammed said he saw hell and it was mostly filled with women. how did that happen? did these women go to hell for confiding themselves into the kitchen? because they have no say and there testimony is 4 times less in an islamic court if they get raped? because if a woman cant prove she got raped then not only is she sentenced by the islamic court she also goes to hell, is that really the will of god?
listen christians believe jesus was the son of god all that requires is faith! ive said this a million times even if jesus isnt true the new testament is a great blueprint for mankind. if you dont believe make a comparison with western culture or islamic 7th century culture which they enforce, its a no brainer. the muslims those of satan may argue 'how can god be a man' in a nutshell you was sold on that rhetoric when you sold out and now your convinced by that one little thing. religion always requires faith its mandatory but you forgot something very very important which the muslims dont tell you and that is god can be whatever he wants even a man, allah even said this you can check. so what do you prefer? re-interpreting what type of message mohammed married a 6 year old means, then constantly lying what it means or play it safe with christianity?
if god gave you and you only the choice for mankind which person to resurrect you know would pick jesus so stop the 'bullcrap'. choosing islam could be the biggest mistake ever and if we do answer to god dont expect sympathy because you thought it was following the word of god and he will forgive you for it and open the gates, he wont. follow your heart for that is only the deeds of what is holy."
That was left in my inbox on Youtube by "LIVEREALFOOLED"
***It was obvious this person knows not one thing about Islam, the prophet or Allah outside of the media and hateful rants of bigots and I asked this person not to contact me again and he did with another long diseration. I have no hard feelings for someone like this but I have no time for ignorance either**
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Mom and stepdad officially know about my conversion
I almost forgot to mention that on Saturday (May 27th 2012) my mom and step dad officially found out I'm Muslim. Went way better than I thought. My step dad always has a jab to make and most of the time he is joking but considering his bigoted character sometimes you have to really decipher if he is joking or not.
As I arrived stepping out of my vehicle in full hijab and covered from head to toe my step dad asked my sister "so, is she Muslim now?" My sister simply replied "yup." Then my mom made a statement to my sister sometime later that day as they both drove down the street to check on our beloved garage sale signs..."so your sister finally converted?" My sister simply said "yes."
Mind you, neither of them asked me about it all weekend but made comments here and there. I can only show by my character and behavior that Islam is good and being Muslim is a positive for me.
My step dad and I have never got along and quite frankly I never did like him and I know for a fact that he doesn't and never did like me. I will spare you the long drawn out story but lets just say I like dating outside of my race and he can not and never will accept it. Regardless, I forgive him for all the mean, nasty and hurtful things he has said and I pray God shows mercy on him.
My step dad and I actually got along fine and spoke to each other for the three days I was at the house helping with the garage sale. I love my mom dearly and always want her to be happy and want her to know I am happy and this is a good thing for me.
The scariest part is over and that was letting both sets of parents know I converted and it wasn't nearly close to being the over dramatized thing I expected, especially with their reactions that I expected. I don't ask my parents for permission to do anything and I felt it was my business, however, my sister urged me to tell them and I am glad she did. (well....she confirmed my moms and step dads suspicions *small quiet giggle*)
I am truly the black sheep of the family and have never followed family norms so my conversion shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone. But hopefully they will be pleasantly surprised at how good Islam is and that its not what the media or some people portrays it to be.
As I arrived stepping out of my vehicle in full hijab and covered from head to toe my step dad asked my sister "so, is she Muslim now?" My sister simply replied "yup." Then my mom made a statement to my sister sometime later that day as they both drove down the street to check on our beloved garage sale signs..."so your sister finally converted?" My sister simply said "yes."
Mind you, neither of them asked me about it all weekend but made comments here and there. I can only show by my character and behavior that Islam is good and being Muslim is a positive for me.
My step dad and I have never got along and quite frankly I never did like him and I know for a fact that he doesn't and never did like me. I will spare you the long drawn out story but lets just say I like dating outside of my race and he can not and never will accept it. Regardless, I forgive him for all the mean, nasty and hurtful things he has said and I pray God shows mercy on him.
My step dad and I actually got along fine and spoke to each other for the three days I was at the house helping with the garage sale. I love my mom dearly and always want her to be happy and want her to know I am happy and this is a good thing for me.
The scariest part is over and that was letting both sets of parents know I converted and it wasn't nearly close to being the over dramatized thing I expected, especially with their reactions that I expected. I don't ask my parents for permission to do anything and I felt it was my business, however, my sister urged me to tell them and I am glad she did. (well....she confirmed my moms and step dads suspicions *small quiet giggle*)
I am truly the black sheep of the family and have never followed family norms so my conversion shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone. But hopefully they will be pleasantly surprised at how good Islam is and that its not what the media or some people portrays it to be.
The Beginning
Just beginning in Islam and it is a slow process. Not everything comes in one day as we may think it would. Slow and steady. Mistakes are a given but learning from them is essential.
Learning something new everyday and relearning something new everday
I have learned that people have these preconceived notions that are far off base and many refuse to believe that those beliefs are distorted and false. I am a great believer that you can't rationalize with irrational people who refuse to open their hearts and minds. They will have to take that up with God.
Saturday May 27th 2012 Yard Sale at my moms
We had a yard sale and on Saturday and retired soldier showed up and was buying my old rocking chair. My step dad jokingly said we have a bit of everything here, we even have a terrorist. The soldier looked at me and said that not all muslims are bad. I was thrilled that he validified that for my stepdad and my mom. Then he added his own muse by saying as long as she doesn't shoot at me we're fine lol......
Thank you for your service and fighting for our freedoms here in American and for the freedoms of others in other countries.
Thank you for your service and fighting for our freedoms here in American and for the freedoms of others in other countries.
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