Vaca with my mom and sister

My mom asked my sister and I to drive with her to North Carolina from the 3rd to the 8th of July. This made me a bit nervous because this is the side of the family that are devout Christians. Even though my mom had not said anything about my converting she is not happy and will never understand because she has in her head what she "thinks" she already knows about Islam. She refuses to listen to any videos I have provided. Maybe she fears of learning the truth, that Islam is the only way or that low and behold Islam is the exact opposite of what she "thinks" already knows. My nervousness became more profound when my mom said my grandpa was "probably" already going to try to talk me out of Islam and that I was not to talk back to him because he is 87 years old.

Well the car ride started out tense because my mom tried telling me that Islam was wrong and I was wrong. I told her that I would have to believe in all the teachings of Christianity to believe that and I don't. I believe that the Bible is the word of God. I do not believe Jesus is his son nor that Jesus died on the cross. I believe Jesus is a great prophet and Mohamed is the last prophet. My mom said "I told you not to read the Qur'an" and with a bit of a over fundamentalist tone "Jesus is going to come visit you." These close minded views and pushy over and undertones of some Christians is a huge turn off for me and pushes me further away from those types of people. I love my mother, however, I can't tolerate that type of belief, attitude or way of communicating and passing judgment.

All though there was nothing said to me in North Carolina there was tension and I could feel it. If they have hopes of me reconverting they will be disappointed. I am and will always be Muslim. I love Allah and it is the only way for me! I dare say that it has always been that way because I have always felt a disconnect from Christianity; even as a child. I have never really understood Christianity in the way that it was taught and some of the teachings. i.e. trinity, son of God etc...

Even now I question, if in the bible there are no such thing as good spirits just evil then how is Jesus embodied by a spirit and brought back to life from death. In today's time we call someone who rises from the grave a zombie who eats the brains of humans. And for those who wake from death in a hospital or at home a medical miracle or its just plain simple they weren't really dead in the first place and their body needed a break and time to recover. Or the answer I like the best is that there is only one God! No trinity, no savior or son of Christ. Just plain and simple God. My relationship with God is my own. I love Allah! My mom wanted to argue my belief but alas it is not what I believe in. She argued about a religion she knows nothing about except what someone has filled her head with and refuses to believe what I had to say because it goes against her beliefs. That is fine and dandy but don't push your views and beliefs on me. I am not pushing mine on you or anyone else. That goes for any family, friend or persons I am acquainted with or do not know.


It was at my cousins house in North Carolina that I had a good laugh to myself at her husbands attempt to ruffle my feathers. We all arrived and were sitting in her beautiful back yard when her husband came out in a black t-shirt with the word "infidel" written on it in English and Arabic. Yes a not so subtle way of announcing ones disgust with Islam and a personal attack on me since he knew I was on my way to visit. I did not address it because I was not about to encourage or acknowledge his racist bigot statement and feed into his hate and contempt. However, I had a good laugh to myself at the patheticness of it all and at him!

During the trip I did not see one Muslim woman, at least not one wearing a hijab. Not until we reached the Ohio/Michigan border where we stopped to eat dinner. Again, my moms disgust and anger towards my beliefs released and she started in again with my views are wrong and she added her (misinformation) knowledge about the Qur'an and its teachings. She refused to believe me when I told her, her information was incorrect and yelled at me. smh.....that is the attitude and behavior of someone who lives in fear of the truth that goes against what they believe and are to afraid to and refuse to believe anything different then what they already have in their heads. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from those people. Since this is my family I am talking about I will keep contact and love them but I will not put myself out there or go out of my way to prove myself in anyway.

I do have to say my sister (who I drive crazy at times...well ok all the time) supports me unconditionally. She is one of a few. My sister, son, niece, dad, and a few others in my family support me.
Sometimes we just have to get up and walk away from those who do not support us or who do nothing but focus on their hate and misinformation about other peoples religion, ethnicity or whatever beliefs they may have.

I am Muslim and I am proud!