Religious expresson, why do people get so offened?

Someone's outrage has prompted me to research this morning why so many Christians are offended by the term "Happy Holidays." Coming from nearly all Christian or Atheist family I never heard family offended by Christmas or the term "Happy Holidays" and believe this has turned into a big thing in the past decade or so, but I could be wrong, it could be as little as a few years. But why and is it right for some Christians to condemn those who use the term "Happy Holidays" and really why become so offended by something that is meant to respect everyone?

 

I want everyone to do something, I want you all to go out into the street and starting grouping people, by looks only, who is Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Atheists, etc....But keep this in mind, each year nearly 20,000 Americans convert to Islam and not all wear head scarves and most wear western clothing. The same goes for Americans converting to Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhist. So go ahead, go to into public and start separating people by their religion or non-religion based on appearance only. Can you tell who believes or doesn't believe? Keep in mind, not all Indians are religious or practice the religion you think they do, and the same goes for any ethnicity or culture.

It's that time of year here in America and across the world to be happy and bring good cheer. However, it's not good cheer for many who are stopped from displaying their nativity scenes because it "offends" others, OOOORRRRRR Christians who become offended at the greeting "Happy Holiday" as opposed to "Merry Christmas." Neither greeting offends me personally and I agree and feel the same as the people's comments below.  The mere fact that cities all over the U.S. are stopping people from displaying their religious ornaments is disturbing because we do have the freedom of religion and religious expression. So if you're Atheist or a person of different religion and don't celebrate any holidays or the holidays of others then don't partake in the decor or festivities.  Really it's a simple, respect, live and let live. Right? Wrong, Wrong because so many people "choose" to be offended by every freaking thing that crosses their path. Instead of being offended by children being beaten and raped someone chooses to be offended about a greeting or someone else's religious decor or beliefs. Really?

 

From October to January 1st, many religious and non-religious holidays take place. Eid (Muslims), Halloween, Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Kwanza, Christmas and New Years. "Happy Holiday"s encompasses all of these holidays because this time of year is not a Christian time of year only. It is shared by many people of many religions, non-religions, ethnicities and is a very, very, diverse time of year.

 

 Anyone working with the public will most times use "Happy Holidays" because it's not ok to assume "everyone" celebrates Christmas or are Christian. I don't know about anyone else, but I "CAN'T TELL" who is Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or Atheist from the next. So why am I going to automatically wish anyone Merry Christmas during this time of year when this time of year holds so many religious holidays and traditions or so many people? Why are people rude to me and why am I yelled at and condemned for using the term Happy Holidays? I have used that term since I was young because I grasped the idea and knowledge that we are a mixed nation of people and this has never been an "ALL" Christian nation nor will it ever be. I understood the history of how Christianity came to this country and the history of this nation period.

 

If you know someone personally then of course wish them Merry Christmas or Happy Chanukah, or Happy Eid, or Happy Kwanza, or Happy whatever. But to assume everyone celebrates Christmas and is obligated to wish everyone "Merry Christmas" and to become offended when someone says "Happy Holiday" is not appropriate or fair either.  In saying that respect for everyone is a must. On the day of Christmas I will wish people that I personally know "Merry Christmas" but I will not be bullied into saying Merry anything because it offends that person or religion. People in this world become to offended by others for no good reason. Can one Christian, Muslim, Jewish or Atheist speak for "ALL"? NO. Do all Christians, or Atheists, or Muslims, or Jewish all think the same way? NO.  I don't think or practice like ALL other Muslims because my culture and experiences are different so I don't speak for ALL Muslims as no Christian can speak for ALL Christians.

So in all this all I can do is give my belief and what I have found. All I know is people become offended over some stupid stuff when I can think of more important and egregious issues to be offended by like children being raped or beaten or starved.  

*By the way, if you put up a Christmas tree that is not a part of Christmas, nor is gifts from Santa.*

I have looked online for an answer from others and this is what I have found.

 "People take this whole thing way too seriously.. If a Jewish person said happy Chanukah to me I wouldn't care even if i wasn't Jewish. But some people do get offended, so why not save the embarrassment but saying happy holidays? Then Christians get offended because of their pride in their holiday. It honestly doesn't bother me either way.. People take this whole religion thing way too seriously."

"It bothers some because they feel this is a "Christian" nation and their rights to their religion are being eroded away.

Happy holidays, is a neutralized version of wishing everyone regardless of their religion to have a happy religious holiday. People forget that there are others religions that have special occasions around Christmas. Jews, Muslims, other religions, and secular minded people enjoy Christmas, although it doesn't directly apply to them. By saying, "Happy Holidays," we include others, rather than be snobbish or arrogant, implying one group of people are better than other groups, or like exclusive country clubs, whereby if you don't have money, fame or power, you can't come in. If you're not a "Christian," you're not welcome here. Bahooey to that!" (http://www.ask.com/answers/462932721/why-do-some-people-get-offended-by-the-term-happy-holidays)

 "I mean there ARE other holidays besides Christmas around this time of year, and unless I know better I'm not going to just assume that you celebrate Christmas. If I know that you're a Christian then I'll gladly say "Merry Christmas" to you. No big deal. I'm not generalizing all Christians. I'm just talking about the few who act like this. " (http://www.sodahead.com/living/why-do-some-christians-get-so-offended-when-someone-says-happy-holidays-as-opposed-to-merry-chris/question-3381415/?link=ibaf&q=&esrc=s)

Here is a great article addressing this very thing from "Parent Magazine."

(http://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/tracys-mama-memoirs/are-you-offended-by-happy-holidays/)

"I can’t quite wrap my mind around what those who celebrate Christmas feel they lose by saying “happy holidays” in cases when they’re not sure what the other person celebrates. Do they really not get their fill of Christmas — between the parades and the Santa in every mall, the buildings decked out in red and green, the TV shows and movies, and the myriad events going on everywhere all December long — that it pains them to convey a message not wrapped in the C-word? Why is it so offensive? How does it snatch away their joy or diminish their celebration?

I can’t bear discrimination of any kind, and it’s one thing to say “I’m going to say Merry Christmas because that’s what I celebrate” and a whole other thing to say “How dare they come to our country and tell us we can’t say Christmas anymore?” That, to me, is appalling. First of all, it’s not just people who have recently arrived in Canada who don’t celebrate Christmas. You must know this. Secondly, from what I’ve seen, it’s never this “them” who are trying to enforce a more inclusive celebration. It’s us. Well, some of us — the ones who care about the feelings of our friends, our colleagues, our kids’ friends and families, and strangers on the street, who have every right to celebrate their customs. They have no interest in abolishing ours. They just want to celebrate something that matters to them, too. There’s no “us and them” in any of this, unless we manufacture it."

 

At the end of the day, people should spend their time being less offended by others and celebrating their holidays as they do. Live and let live. Respect, peace and love for others, it goes a long way.

My lovely life at work with customer interactions

Wish I had and could wear a hidden camera with audio so people (and my work) could see and hear what I do as a Muslimah from people every day. Maybe its because so many more people are wonderful and don't care that I am Muslim and know the difference between evil radical Muslims and good peaceful Muslims, or maybe its because so many people just accept that we are all different and we all follow our own path to God OR that we are all related and linked together in this universe some how, at some time, at some moment and we're to treat each other with love and respect is what makes those who are nasty and mean stick out like soar thumbs being slammed in a car door over and over and over again.

Two days ago a Christian man (older man, his tie with a cross and Jesus on it gave him away along with his necklace with the cross and Jesus) slapped his receipt in my hand and said "take it" in a hostile voice then walked off without his receipt. He has done it before but didn't do it when I went without my scarf. I asked several other people if he does that to them and they said no he is nice to them. That same day a younger guy (30's ish) starred me down with the complete evil hairy eyeball. If looks could kill I'd be 6ft. under right now. Totally made it clear that he would have gutted me like a fish if he could. That type of behavior from others makes it a scary place live for Muslims in this country. Truly it does.


We are all different, isn't that what's beautiful with this world?

It has been a while but I am back for now.

Wow it has been such a long time since I have posted. My last computer crashed and my friend has allowed me to borrow theirs for a while. Alhamdulillah!


So what has happened since January in my lovely little life. Lots. I moved into my own place finally and I am still working at Costco. My experiences as a hijabi have been positive thus far with only a few blatant verbal attacks.

I believe I have already blogged about the very first verbal interaction at work with a customer who basically called me a rag head when he and his family walked to the door. His exact words were "I wish I could wear a big pink towel on my head like you." That was like a fatal stab to my jugular. I replied, "its not a towel its my scarf" turned away and helped the next customers. He has been to the store since but has not said a word to me.

I find some (and I say some because its never a representative of all) elderly people are set to far back in their beliefs and knowledge that they don't know how to change. The last to negative verbal encounters happened at my work by two elderly customers. The first happened on Monday, May 29, 2013 at 1055a.m. Yes I remember because one doesn't forget the bigotry directed at them personally. A little old lady approached the door, I checked her receipt and gave it back telling her to have a nice day. She just stared in bewilderment for a few short moments then said, "oh dear, your wearing a scarf your a terrorist." Now, I'm always stunned at peoples blatant disregard for courtesy and respect but at her age I don't think she even cares nor thought of what she was truly saying and how it would affect me. I replied, "no mam, I am not a terrorist." The elderly red headed woman just shook her head staring dumbfounded. I wanted to lash out and tell her listen lady.....and ramble on about how all Muslims are not terrorists and she should research domestic terrorism in the United States and what does she think about Timothy McVeigh, the Uni-bomber and a whole list of violent Americans who have committed heinous vile violent acts against America and their own people. But I did not, I work for a company that I love and represented so I pulled up my professional big girl panties and told her to have a nice day after I said I was not a terrorist. I let it sink in for a moment and knew that her words still stung like a barbed jagged thorn being plunged into my heart. I barely made it to the managers office holding it together but I did long enough to reach her and tell her what was said. Then I cried as I told her and quite frankly I don't know how she comprehended what I said. However, with an apology and a hug (as this particular manager is very perceptive and loving to our feelings) she empathized with me.

This last incident happened on Sunday the 21st of July. An elderly man, again in his late 80's to mid 90's, with a German accent walked up to me and put his face very close to mine and chuckled as he said *in his thick German accent* "Are you a terrorist?" I looked up and saw a younger woman who looked to be his daughter or granddaughter grimace and mouthed "I am sooooo sorry." I looked at the old man, smiled and replied, "no sir, I am no terrorist." He walked away chuckling. I am not sure if he was joking or got a kick out of being an asshole. Never-the-less, I have started to become thick skinned to such blatant bigotry and realize they know nothing more and even if I attempted to educate them they wouldn't care. That is between them and God. This time I did not go to a manager, nor did I cry. I laughed it off. It felt good to laugh it off and not to take their ignorance or hatred personally.

At the end of the day I am a Costco employee and I represent them when I work and interact with customers and it is essential to remain calm, respectful and professional with all customers and co-workers at all times and when faced with adversity.


That's enough for now because I must go. I will be back soon to post more of my experiences, thoughts and research later this week. Work is calling. :)

Hijab is not just another pretty scarf!

Is dressing modestly a new phenomenon to this world and how long has the concept of modesty been around?  Is dressing modestly only an Islamic "thing" or is it a woman's "thing" across this great big blue globe? Are we more alike than different? What religions practice modesty now and have practiced modesty throughout history?

In my research I have found there are many religions out here and just as many versions of dressing modestly.

Lets look at a few religions starting with Christianity.



Before I converted to Islam I was Christian, however, I did not practice modesty at all! The Bible does teach modesty and many Christian women practice modestly every day.

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” (I Timothy 2:9-10)

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.” (Deuteronomy 22:5)

In the Bible is says that women and men should not wear the clothes of one another. Women wear pants all the time and it has become a common place in society, however, the bible clearly states: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are an abomination unto the LORD thy God.” (Deuteronomy 22:5)

Now one can always argue as most people do that these passages are from the Old Testament, however, when the Bible is studied it is studied as a whole and lessons are to be learned from all chapters of the bible. Gods word is Gods word right?

Of course times have changed since the bible was written, however, Gods words haven't changed. Different denominations of Christians practice modesty in today's times. So many different denominations of Christianity to look at for practices of modesty.  http://christiansdressingmodestly.com/ 

Amish:

I have found Amish women and men dress more modestly and plainly than many of those who practice Islam. In saying that, everyone has their own vision on what is modest and what is beauty.

Why do the Amish dress modestly and plainly? Several answers exist for this question. The answer is not only because of scripture in the bible as mentioned above but they wear it for "simplicity and practicality" as well. (http://amishamerica.com/why-do-the-amish-wear-plain-clothing/)

Mainstream western culture is very fixed on looks, style and materialistic things and many wouldn't be caught dead in the drab, oversized clothing, however, the mainstream western culture accepts the Amish and their modest dress along with Mennonites and Mormons.




Mennonites:

Mennonites dress very similarly to the Amish. Both Mennonites and the Amish are from a "Protestant" background called "Anabaptist's" that came into existence from around the "16th century." Just as Muslims believe in living out their daily lives as the Qur'an says, so do Mennonites and the Amish and many Christians. The Amish separated from the Mennonites during the late 1600's because they believed they should live separate from the rest of society and the world living more in line to what the bible says. "Mennonites believe in simple living, but express that simplicity in a spirit of stewardship and awareness of the needs of others rather than completely separating from society as the Amish continue to do." (http://www.thirdway.com/menno/FAQ.asp?F_ID=3)

Mormons:

Not all Mormons practice modesty as this particular denomination, nonetheless, many Mormons do practice modesty to some extent. The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does practice such modesty as it does practice polygamy as well. Some of you may remember one such group of Mormons as the subject of a federal raid back in 2008 when it removed over four hundred children after allegations of young girls (underage) being married off to older men. The group denies allegations, however, it is not their first interaction with authorities in regards to child marriages. Back on "July 26, 1953, raid in Colorado City, Ariz., involved more than 300 women and children. It backfired on then-governor Howard Pyle when pictures showed weeping children being torn from frantic mothers. Most of the children and women returned to their homes within months." (http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-04-07-polygamy_n.htm)

Their leader, Warren Jeffs was convicted in 2008 on sexual assault and aggravated sexual assault on children in relations to the raid of the FDLS (Fundamentalist Church of the Latter Day Saints) compound in Texas where the over four hundred young children were taken into protective custody.

Greek Orthodox:

The Greek Orthodox church dates back to Ancient Christianity and as shown here Greek Orthodox Nuns where hijab to this day.

"But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head. (I Corinthians 11:5)."

Even though many Greek Orthodox women in the United States stopped wearing the veil for various reasons (many due to vanity) there are many across the world that still hold to the religion and what God asks of them in the Bible.

Catholic:

Catholic women were always required to cover their heads with a veil before entering church up until the mid 70's when it was decided wearing a veil inside the church was no longer a requirement. Modestly among Catholic women had always been taught, however, with each generation came a rebellion and defiance against the teachings. After all if you go to church on Sunday, go to confession and knock out a few Hail Marys all is forgiven right?

Baptists:

Perhaps the most famous Baptists in America and on reality t.v. are the Dugger family of "19 and Counting." A lovely family with very well behaved children that have gained the respect and love of America.

Some Baptist denominations encourage modest dressing as well. Commonly  Baptist women wear a long skirt or floor length dress and shirts with long or short sleeves that show no cleavage and very little make-up if any at all.

Jewish Orthodox:

Modesty and humility the theme thus far with the religions that we have seen and Jewish Orthodox does not differ from them in this aspect. The term "tzniut" refers to "modesty and/or privacy and is practiced among Orthodox and many conservatives in Judaism. It not only relates to "modesty and/or privacy" but the interactions with the opposite sex as well.

In certain Jewish communities such as the "Haredi" men wear long trousers, shirts, coats and beards topped off with a hat and the women wear skirts below the knees, sleeves that cover past their elbows and crew neck collars that are not plunging and cover up to the neck. Many women cover from neck to feet only showing their head and hands and you won't catch them in slacks or jeans.

Hinduism:

"Rig Veda Bk 8 Hym 33 V 19
Modesty of a Women: Hinduism Cast down thine eyes and look not up. More closely set thy feet. Let not the garments reveil what the viel conciels , for thou, Brahma hast made you a dame(women)."

"Vishnu Sutra Ch 25 V 9-10
Not to decorate herself with ornaments (or to partake of amusements) while her husband is absent from home; 10. Not to resort to the houses of strangers (during the absence of her husband"

Hindu women also cover their hair and partial face with their sari or dupatta when they are around other men that are of no relation to them.




Islam:

Surely modesty is subjective as is the style of modesty right? In Islam women cover themselves selves as well, however, we see they do so with much vibrancy and style. Is modesty being covered from head to toe or about the color of ones clothes? Is it wearing drab clothing? Who is to judge but God right?

For myself dressing modest is not showing anything but my hands, face and feet and wearing non-form fitting clothing. The picture above and to the left shows a few of the many different styles of hijab typical of Middle Eastern countries and western culture.

Is hijab about just another pretty scarf and sparkles? Absolutely not! We must not mistake personality and colorful clothing for modesty and hijab. Hijab like other religious coverings is about attitude, kindness, charity, behavior, personality and so on. As my friend Hina stated in her post the Holy Qur'an states:

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That is pure purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornments save to their own husband, or father, or husbands father, or their sons, or their husbands sons or their brothers, or their brothers sons, or sisters sons, or their women, or their servants, or male attendants who lack vigor, or children who know not of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn onto Allah together, O believers, in order that you may succeed.” (24, 30-31)


A pretty scarf is a pretty scarf but what lays beneath is so much more....welcome to the world of hijab where ones personality and character are of the utmost importance. How a hijabi treats another person is more important than the color or design of a scarf and that includes the treatment of non-Muslims as well.

From Hindu to Jewish and Greek Orthodox to Islam to Christianity to most every religion dressing modestly is looked upon favorably, however, as my friend Hina also pointed out "many in the west have strayed away from modesty yet many still practice it within certain religious denominations."

Many people in the west view hijab as oppressive, however, it is the farthest thing from the truth. Many people confuse culture and talibanish laws with the religion of Islam thus is where confusion, misinformation, stereotypes and preconceived notions stem.

Life is about coming together and building bridges on commonality and working together to understand and to respect one another's beliefs even though they are not our own and that includes that of an Atheists non-beliefs. Take away politics and media and people do wonderful all by themselves. Religions and people have more in common than just modesty and I will cover that in future posts.